Day 65: To the Child Who Lives Upstairs

I envy you and your complete lack of awareness of the world around you. I have no idea how old you are but I can assume that you are young enough to not care terribly much about others, since you are just trying to figure out what the heck is going on. I can tell by your loud footsteps that seem to be constant whenever I’m trying to sleep that you enjoy traversing your apartment.

I know nothing about you except the thumps I hear every day but still feel that you and I are very different from when I was your age. My attention to the opinions of others stem from a young age. I would try to avoid any situation that drew too much attention to myself. My mom always tells me about how I would hide behind her legs whenever we went out to people’s houses. I still feel like doing that sometimes. When I felt like crying, I wouldn’t like others to see, making me hold back my tears when I was as young as four years old. I was also always very cautious, when I was walking or doing anything else. This is probably why I barely had any injuries as a kid. I don’t know why I was like that, but it really represents the person I’ve grown up to be.

I don’t share who I am with those around me and try my best to avoid situations that draw too much attention to myself. The sounds of your feet barreling around and of you pushing your furniture show a sense of confidence in yourself and lack of caution that will give you a completely different experience from me. You will cry in front of others, and it will be okay since you’re just a kid. You will mess up and break something, but it will be okay because you’re a kid. You won’t worry about that stuff because you’re just a kid. Good luck and please let me sleep.

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