Peanuts are not even nuts. They’re legumes and referred to nuts because they are served like tree nuts are sometimes. First and foremost, we should acknowledge the misnomer that peanuts so arrogantly refuse to contest. I don’t care that peanuts are inanimate objects, they should be upright and come out about this inherent lie in its name.
If it wasn’t clear, I am not a fan of peanuts. I’ve had an allergy to peanuts since I was a young’un and although it has decreased a little bit in intensity, I still am debilitated by contact with it. Just today, I had some frozen chutney that had some amount of peanut material within it. I’m not sure how much or why it was there (it wasn’t in the ingredients on the box) but it ended with me spending 20 minutes hunched over a toilet in case of vomit, which is my usual reaction to peanuts. A dose of Benadryl seemed to have prevented that. It was still a while before the pressure in my chest and my partially constricted airways got back to normal.
When I went to the allergist to see how severe my allergy was, I didn’t think much of it. The test involves the doctor pricking your back with spines with different allergens on the end. The spines don’t break the skin, but they give enough contact with the materials to elicit allergic reactions. The size of the resulting hives in the pricked location are used to show the level of severity of the allergy. For me, the hive that came from the peanut prick was so large that it extended beyond the measuring tool that they used. I was told that exposure to peanuts had the capability to kill me, despite the fact that it had never affected me in that way before and was prescribed an epi-pen, which would pump epinephrine through my body in case of an allergic reaction to clear my airways.
I never used an epi-pen and I stopped getting new ones after they expired due to their lack of use. I’ve had many exposures to peanuts but it never does much other than the discomfort described. However, it seems to be excessively present in delicious Indian food and delicious desserts, which have together limited my food consumption throughout my life. Because of all of this, I hate peanuts.