I may or may not have mentioned my love for clothing in the past, but it’s one of the most important things in my life. Of course this is after people and all of that, but the clothes I wear hold so much meaning to me, more than the average person gives their clothing. I pore over fashion blogs, inspiration albums and articles trying to determine what pieces work together and the perfect combinations using the clothes I already own and figuring out what pieces I could add to my wardrobe and use effectively.
I started to care about clothing in middle school, when everyone began to care about everything too much. A desire to find some semblance of an identity and acceptance among an enormous amount of change permeated the lives of me and my classmates. My mom made me wear a sweater over my shirt one day to school, which I only wore after losing an argument with my mother. I felt conscious of my outerwear all day, until someone in one of my classes complimented the piece. As shallow and self-centered as it sounds, a compliment sparked my interest in clothing. Confidence and self-esteem were never my strong suit. I began to focus on my clothes in hopes to get compliments and boost my fragile pre-pubescent self-esteem. Each time I received one, my new hobby was reinforced as endorphins pumped through my brain.
As I’ve grown older, compliments still occur, but they don’t hold the same level of importance as they did when I was more confused. Self-esteem still holds a part of it, but not necessarily for compliments. When I wear clothes that I know I think look good, I feel more confident about my physical appearance. My outfits are an expression of myself, so I put myself out there every time I leave the house. Even if no one I know will see me, I will still put on my white shoes instead of flip-flops (because jeans and sandals look terrible). The most important development is that I now don’t care what other people think of my clothing as long as I like it. I’ve gotten so much flak for cuffing my jeans, but that doesn’t stop me from doing it. I generally dress fairly conservatively, but if I wear anything outside the norm and get crap for it, so be it. I’m doing me.